yeha like fuck it

 The next day I decided to go to my moms and tell her what has been going on.I didn't bother waking VIlle up to come with.On the way there I thought of what I was going to say,how I was going to start it."Mom I need a transplant...no that's to quick"I rehearsed.I went over every thing,her reaction,if she cried every thing.I finally reached her house,I felt nerve take over me.I nocked on the door.She slowly opened it and a smile went across her face when she saw me."hey mom."I said and gave her a big hug."Nina.What are you doing here,I wasn't expecting you or else I would of made some cookies or something." "its alright I don't think this kind of talk is something cookies should be involved"I saw her face go puzzled as i said this."oh what do you need to talk about?" "well I don't know how to really say this..." "Nina you can tell me anything,now what is it?"  "well mom a couple days ago I went to the doctors and well they did a blood test and it turns out there is something going wrong in my liver." A sudden gasp went inside her.She turned her head and began to cry.I didn't want to say it was couse of all that beer,that would kill her,I didn't want her to think I was a frailer."Mom don't worry they are getting a transplant for me in about a week."  "Nina how did this happen?"  "well..."  I began then my phone wrung.It was Ville."Vam ware are you?" "I am at my moms..." "oh well I didn't know are you were." yeah its alright don't fret I'll be home soon." when we hanged up I changed the subject to keep me from having to tell her I am an alcholic."Mom there is nothing to worry about I will be fine."I said calming."yes I know,but you are my child I love you.I can't bare to have someone I love as much as you to get hurt.With your father dieing and now this its to hard.This year has just been to hard."Her eyes were filled with tears,her voice was full of sadness."Im going to be alright,its just a little bump in the road,we always manage,we have been through so much were not going to let this change anything." she smiled and gave me a hug."well I'm sorry mom but I have got to get going now.I love you."I gave her a hug and kiss then left.

 On my way home I started to think of what could happen.'what if every thing isn't going to be alright?What if I do die,what if I go back to beer and drugs?WHAT IF!?' the what ifs that we all say,what ifs never do anything.There not going to help me with coping through all of this,but instead they made me scared.Scared that something horribly wrong is going to happen.As I passed by many bars I longed for a cold beer.I wanted to pull in and have just one drink,but I knew it was wrong.That I told every one that I wasn't going to do this.When I passed Zamoras the earge got so strong I actually pulled into the parking lot.I sat in my car holding back to go inside.I stared at the big sigh saying"Zamoras the best beer in town!" I finally made my mind up and pulled out and hurried home away from all this.Since Kayla and Ville pored all the beer down the drain or put it some ware I could not get.I walked in the door and went straight for my bed.I fell on it and laid there thinking"why me?why me?" really why did this happen to me why does every thing happen to me?! Never to any one else but me...as I thought about this I thought about Kayla,Ville,Bam,every one.How was this effecting them?What was going through their mind?VIlle head popped in through the door with a spoon of ice cream in his mouth."what's wrong sweetheart?" "oh nothing just my life is falling apart..." "its not falling apart,its just another bump in the road that we have to go over" that's what I just said to my mom...and its true...I think."well why are there so many for me,I see these people that there life is s perfect so great."  "well there not as tuff as you.In life if something wrong goes their way they wont know how to handle it,but you will this is just making you a better person." I guess..." "you guess?I know...like you said were going to get through every thing is going to be alright dont worry."I smiled and he offered me his spoon full of ice cream.I took it and popped it my mouth and we laughed together.Bam Kayla and Dico came over.About 15 minutes later Burton and gas popped over.We all watched a movie.I went in to get some more popcorn and Dico came in."you how you doing? fine" that's good." I reached up to get a bowl and Dico ran over"oh no here let me get that for you."  "uuhh thanks." When I went to get a drink Ville ran up and got it for me.When the movie was over  went to put it away but Gas grabbed it and did it for me.Every one wasn't treating me the same like I was a little dangly girl that couldn't do anything her self.They weren't treating me the same.Me and Bam never had prank wars anymore,we use to have them every day!Kayla will never let me cook any more...Ville gets every thing for me...its getting annoying.I think there treating me different couse I have liver problems.But why I mean im the same person.I don't act any different then I use too...do I?

 S got up and started breakfast.I hurried and ate then left the food out for Ville when he wakes up.I went out to the store to get some more milk and crap.I was walking into the frozen food section when my legs gave out.I fell to the ground,I herd my head smack onto the hard tile.I just couldn't move.I didn't know what was going on.The I saw blood coming from my head.I tried to yell or speak but I couldn't.I don't know what happened!